In the beginning, I had felt God's approval for my remarriage... but a growing feeling of condemnation began to oppress me on a daily basis. I went to marriage seminars and heard that "the whole message of the New Testament is about forgiveness" and that I did not need to "worry" about remarriage. I listened to "good preachers" who preached both for and against remarriage. I read books and listened to TV and radio shows on the subject. And a few select good friends who, mostly from a sincere desire to "help" me, let me know that, in the end, I needed to "deal" with this "sin" in my life. I was miserably depressed after awhile and cried on an almost nightly basis. I felt that I was possibly living in perpetual sin! I loved my Lord Jesus.... I could not continue to hurt Him this way. In the end I felt the only thing left to do was to divorce my current husband, who I loved dearly, and live a single life in order to find peace with God! I sought the answer from God. I prayed and read His Word, writing this agonizing problem down a thousand times at the top of my "Things To Ask God" list! Then one day, because God had intervened in a long trip that I was supposed to take... I found myself alone in my bedroom, with the Lord, listening to Him. Just listening! No one was going to call me or come over to my home that day, because everyone thought that I was out of town! I asked a question: "I know You have me here for a reason, God.... what is it? What do you want to teach me today?" And immediately, I felt Him go into my heart and point to the question that lived there: the question of whether or not I was living in adultery because I had remarried. I decided to follow the Holy Spirit's lead and went to search the internet for information that would form the basis of a Bible study on the question. The very first site that I came to was "DivorceHope.com."

I will never forget reading I Corinthians 7:27-28 for the "first" time with my eyes wide open....the veil was lifted.... the Spirit of Truth showed me in His Word.... I had NOT sinned!! "...But even if you do marry, you have not sinned!" How had I missed it so many times before?? Suddenly... THE PRISON DID NOT EVEN EXIST ANYMORE!! The "gates of hell" could NOT "prevail", they dissolved into nothing.... Jesus had come into my "false prison" and set me FREE!!! And no man will ever be able to take this "peace" from me... because it came from Jesus!

I want to personally thank Stephen for being obedient to the Holy Spirit and writing "Divorce: God's Will?" I will never be able to say "thank you" enough! But I mostly want to thank my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ for loving me enough to rescue me from a prison that I could well have lived in for the rest of my life! Thank you, Jesus!

From the heart of a woman who loves much.... because she has been forgiven much!

Joyce

Thank you for the encouragement.

K.M.

I searched on divorce advice for women and found this site- what a weight off my shoulders! As a Catholic, I feared that remarriage was not an option for me even though I did NOT want a divorce from a man I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. You cannot believe how much better I feel now that I know that God's will is that I am NOT alone! If there are ever times that you wonder if all the time you spend on this website is worth it, know that you changed my life! Thank you and God bless.

Liz

What a Godsend this is! I have been tormented in an abusive relationship for near to 34 years now. What I've read here today has renewed my faith in a loving God. This has all just become much too heavy for me to bear any longer and I feared I would have to leave the church because I was setting aside my vows in marriage. Thank you for your obedience in faith doing what the Lord called you to do! I have such peace about my decision now that I've not had before. Oddly enough I'd searched on the net before for any kind of site that would shed some light on how I'm feeling. Until this weekend I had never spotted this site.

This weekend I made a conscious decision that my marriage was over and that I would live out my days a single woman never knowing the cherishing that is supposed to be happening in marriage. After complete and total love and commitment and laying myself aside, in honor preferring my husband and children, can you imagine the sound of the sword slicing through my heart when my husband screamed at me "You're not worth wasting my time on"?

It sure gave me immediate insight into what was in his heart and mind. I've never been important to him simply for me, I've been a means to an end...

I feel the numbness beginning to melt in me; I've been so numb for so many years. Thank God for this book! Thank God for this internet site! Thank God for you! ...

Peace to you,

I.I.

Your website gave me the freedom to think differently about working through our marriage without a distorted view of the guilt and shame that might await on the other side if divorce were to occur.

T. & A.M.

Mister Gola, your book excerpts are right on time for the Body of Christ.

R.W.

Dear Sirs, I have bought this book, and it is just an awesome book. This is truly what I needed to hear, after struggling with so many difficult thoughts in a very difficult marriage, that finally led to a divorce, with all the grief and relief connected with that... May GOD bless you beyond measure.

Truly yours,

U.E.

Thank You so much! God Bless,

Irene

How have I missed this book? Like the author, I have had the issue of divorce laid on my heart... Like so many in the church, I have been taught the "conventional" teachings and yet, I have KNOWN in my heart and spirit that the teaching was incomplete...

M.M.

Thank you for echoing what God has been saying to me. It is the first time I have had such clear confirmation of my worth to Christ, rather more I feel approved of by Christ in and since my divorce. It is always easy for me to see that God loves and accepts other people and that he loves them unconditionally but it is very difficult to believe that God see that he feels the same for me and receive his blessing.

Thank you and may God bless you and your family.

P.M.

I read your site. Is it really true?? Have others been led by God out of a marriage? No one believes me that that could be true. However, he laid a path that was so defined.

A.S.

Your website is an oasis to me. I am divorcing my husband of 15 years because we have never had an emotional connection and he was physically intimate with me about once a year! I have lost almost every friend in this decision, even my parents are on his side. I thought Biblically I had to stay in this deadness that was killing me in every way. Thank you for being one of VERY few voices of hope and life. God bless and protect you & your family.

A.F.

I really appreciate your work really and I am encouraged with the verses you mentioned and also with the way you explained them. May God continue to use your ministry for his children. I'm a battered spouse going thru a lot of stress ...

Sister.

Thank you! I work with many people who have difficulty dealing with their divorces due to their spiritual belief. I wanted to thank you for your website and book as it is very helpful for them.

Dr. L.P.

Thank God that someone is willing to challenge some of life's most difficult but common problems facing most Christians who really do love the Lord as well. God bless you!

P.N.

I know I must be one of thousands who call to thank you for your compassionate and caring work. I just spent a half hour reading some of the excerpts from the book, and already I feel like a ton has been lifted from my shoulders. My husband left me three years ago, and I have been on a healing path, but I always felt that I would be forced to live a celibate life, even though I am not made that way. I did pray and ask God to take away the feelings, but he didn't. Now I am getting a divorce, and hoping to marry again some day. I felt I had been given permission, but there is so much condemnation in the church for remarriage. I will order your book when I can afford it, but until then, just accept my sincere thanks for doing a very needed work among the saints. Love in Christ,

J.F.

Thank you for this wonderful way in which you have related God's word to you in print. The church has been given only a half truth. This book is a must for every person in the kingdom… and it will prevent many divorces and give much needed hope to those who are in confusion. I am using it in my ministry... Thank you and God bless.

R.B.

This page has answered a fundamental grief for me. I'm not sure what I did to reach this particular site, but I’m blessed by it because for over 10 years I have been plagued by guilt about leaving my controlling, emotionally-abusive husband. …Those with whom we attended church were siding almost unanimously with him because I had so many needs for security and that automatically made me 'wrong'. Many times they (whom I affectionately termed 'the righteous Committee') would call to lecture me on how I’m hurting him….

Well, I had to develop distancing so I could cope and move on. The morning of my first day at a women's shelter was unbelievable to me: I could think for myself! From there I spent time in deep process with God, whom I could now approach with the space away from judgmental 'brothers and sisters' (who continued to preach at me still. Not one of them sat down with me to ask why. They just kept correcting and imposing unwanted advice.)

…He never thought of me as his equal, nor did he want an equal. He wanted someone he could mold into his own version of the perfect wife. My mistake was confusing that with devotion and love.

All this time later, I don't have any bitterness toward my former husband: just the situation in which I had gotten myself into because of the fear I’d be alone and destitute. I had absolutely no confidence that I could ever have a life by myself. Not that I am choosing to remain single: I definitely want to remarry…

Your site helped me to finally quit thinking of the divorce as having disobeyed God. Actually I believe the marriage was more disobedient! I went into it for purely needy and egocentric reasons. But I’ve learned many incredibly valuable lessons and am a very different person now.

Thank you so much for offering a point of view that has reached into the core of my 'heart-ichoke' and made the shackles fall off. Like a tiny snip on just that part of a big knot which, in one moment, unravels it! God bless you,

K.F.

I heard about this book from a friend who was helped greatly and I want to give it to my sister who is struggling with the decision to divorce her husband who is a cocaine addict.

K.K.

 I could not help but to write back to you, and let you know, even as your book is on the way to me the devils grip on these issues sound as like chains being broken.  …God bless you and yours!  

M.H.

Shame and guilt indeed. Hi. I've bought your book and read most of it. Thank you for writing it. I have found a lot of helpful information in there. Things I never thought of. I was always of the belief that I had no Biblical right to divorce, let alone remarry. I'd never heard some of those things before. Why don't more Christians know about them? I hear the teachings that it is absolutely wrong to remarry once you're divorced. But what you say about being divorced meaning you no longer have a spouse, makes me think, "yeah, really. Otherwise simple separation would be good enough."

I am a woman who was abused for many years by my husband. I tried to change myself to make him be nicer to me, as he'd say, "If you'd only _______, then I wouldn't have to act this way towards you" (paraphrase).

Now the shame and guilt are here. Big time. My old Christian friends have said very mean things to me because I have now gotten involved with a man and we wish to marry but they say I would be doing a very wrong thing if I do that. The way they say it is harsh and then they finish it with, "I’m sorry to sound harsh but I only tell you these things because I love you."

So I’ve referred a few people to your book. They, being of the …type of Christians, very conservative and legalistic, say that the references you use cause them to distrust your teaching (they refer to Kenneth Copeland and Focus On The Family). I'm starting to feel like, "why even bother trying to explain anything to my old friends. Maybe I should just accept that they're not really my friends anymore."…In Christ,

Christine

Your website is a breath of fresh air. I resonate with your emphasis on people, not the institution. There are no perfect institutions ever, and the institution must serve the desires of God for his people, as you clearly state. …thank you and may God bless and advance your ministry for the sake of the kingdom.

J.M.

The Lord led me to the internet early this morning and right to your sight... Everything you have been given by the Holy Spirit confirmed in my heart and spirit... I have others that are going to receive understanding as a result of your ministry... God bless...

R.B.

I praise God that the Holy Spirit has led me to this life changing site. …Lord bless you.

L.E.

Thank you for your website. This is one of the few websites I have found that gave me peace about my remarriage. I divorced 3 years ago. The divorce was my fault, because I was unfaithful. I have genuinely repented and asked God's forgiveness and not only once. I have to admit that I have been living in bondage over the fact that I have divorced and remarried. I am constantly plagued by guilt and I fear that I am living in a state of continual adultery. This is what I have been taught all my life. …This is a daily battle for me and I have found that I am becoming greatly depressed about this. I have a fear that I will not go to heaven. …Thank you so much for your encouragement through Jesus Christ, our savior. May God bless you and your ministry through this website...

L.D.

I received a copy of your book in today's mail to review and I have to say, without a doubt, it's come into my life at just the right time.  I've been struggling with the very issues your book covers.  Interesting how coincidences like that exist.  Divorcehope.com is also very informative and I’ve enjoyed exploring its content. Thank you,

J.H.

Thank you so much for this site. I have been in and out of my husband’s house for 4 years now, going back the whole time, even though I’ve been abused and chased out of the house, thinking that God is going to punish me for getting a divorce. I have now eventually decided to go ahead with the divorce and found peace about it. …Thanking you once again,

L.K.

Thank you so very much! I divorced my husband eight years ago, following four years of physical, emotional and sexual abuse. The final straw came when he threw our son across the room. Although I tried to help him with his anger he would not seek professional help. (I even made appointments with doctors for him but he would not go.) I have searched the Bible and spoken to so many of my Christian friends and no one has managed to give me the assurance your site has. (In fact the site I was reading prior to yours condemned me to hell!) Thank you so much I still have a long way to go, but armed with your help and advice the future with Jesus looks more certain. God bless you.

D.W.

Thank you so much for the enlightenment that I have received from your website. My husband has aids. My current marriage consisted of date rape and a one time occurrence of physical abuse. Each time, though I wanted to run, but could not. My first marriage ended in multiple occurrences of marital infidelity (the husband). Your website was very helpful in helping me to see exactly what is going on with me. It is not a pretty picture. Thank you and may your ministry continue to be blessed. Love always...

Blessed in disguise

I just wanted to say thank you. Your web site has been such a blessing. I am 19 years old, got married very young, my husband and I did everything right, we waited to have sex for marriage, went to church, prayed together, read the Bible together, and then one day out of the blue, after only 4 months of being married he wants a divorce, he said he was not happy anymore. Your website and book has given me the courage and optimism that remarriage is possible for me. I still have my whole life ahead of me, and the thought of never remarrying was scary. Thank you so much again! God bless,

Crystal

My Christian counselor said it was OK by the Bible to get a divorce if your husband tries to kill you. There does not need to be any adultery involved, which there has not been. Most of my "church friends" don't agree. They think only separation is Biblical. Anyway, looking forward to reading your book, God bless. …Thanks,

Tammy

Firstly I’d like to thank you for being so sensitive to God in following his direction re this website & your book. I'm almost through reading the book; and I have a problem with it: it's so good I have almost every line in it high-lighted!!!! I can hardly make a book report on this without retelling the whole thing!!!!

J. M.

Thank you very much. I am very grateful; I’ll just keep praying and trusting my God and Father. He has decided to show me mercy and I’m always so thankful to Him, He really loves me. I'm still reading the book and completely enjoying it. I also thank God for making my heart free. I am not bitter against my husband or anybody else for that matter and only God could do that. …My life is better now in every way because I know that God will bring everything to completion. Yours,

A.O.

I found the information on your website very useful, encouraging and thought-provoking. I have been married for 22 yrs with 5 children and I feel I am at the end of the road. As a Christian, the idea of divorce has been very daunting and an unwelcome one, but as more time has gone on, the worse off I have grown and I realize that I must make a change in order to simply recapture my lost joy and vitality. I want to be led by the Spirit during this difficult time and I believe I am able to hear His voice and follow Him. The main thing I am worried about right now is my own personal well-being. In my desire to be happily married I gave up everything hoping that together we would find happiness, but my heart has grown sick and I feel broken in spirit. I could use prayer for restoration. Thanks for writing the book and for you sensitivity in this difficult arena of life. Thanks so much,

P.R.