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“My people perish for a LACK OF (learned) KNOWLEDGE.” Many marriages are needlessly failing because the marriage partners have a lack of knowledge regarding relationship dynamics. Most couples, sadly to say, are ignorant on purpose because they are not willing to apply the time and spend the money to grow their relationships. When the relationship fails, they blame God. God does not save relationships, He saves individuals. If you want a great relationship, you must pay a price!

The Formula for a Happy Marriage.

For a couple to have a happy marriage, BOTH MUST:

1. Kill self—selfishness. The beginning of dying to self is learning how to give.

2. Learn some relationship techniques. If you want fruit, you must learn and cultivate techniques.

3. Understand the makeup of the opposite sex. Males and females are different. Learn the differences!

These three necessities are the core and foundation of a happy marriage. EVERYTHING in the relationship will ALWAYS have these three ingredients in it.

Click here if you feel you need expert assistance in saving your troubled marriage.

Therefore, we want to briefly share with you how love is generated in the heart toward your mate and visa versa. The two major causes of marriage failure are, 1. The husband and wife does not know each others love language (which the heart interprets as "love deposits"), nor what or how to meet the top five needs of each other (which are different for a husband and wife thereby creating great problems), thereby the feeling of "romantic love" not being generated within the hearts of the marriage partners. 2. The Husband does not know how to show his wife affection which also generates romantic love in her heart. When these two are combined the marriage is full of love. When these two are absent, they will get filled from elsewhere. Many times the husband or wife just does not go looking for an affair, but rather the emptiness is filled by someone outside the marriage who shows affection and speaks their love language.

Here is an example of a spouses primary love language. We will put this example so it will be like we are speaking to the wife. There are five primary love languages. They are: Quality Time, Acts of Service, Receiving of Gifts, Words of Affirmation and Physical Touching. Let’s say that your primary love language is Quality Time. This would mean that you would want your husband to spend time with you talking face to face uninterrupted by a TV or whatever. This could happen by going for a drive over a cup of coffee. Or maybe you liked antique auctions and you would like him to walk with you to see all the different stuff. You husband on the other hand does not know that THIS is what fills your love tank in order for you to feel loved. So being ignorant and having a lack of knowledge, he simply says, “I’m too tired I do not want to go---you go.” But to make up for this he buys you a gift. However, the Receiving of Gifts is not your primary love language, Quality Time is. His actions have done nothing to fill your love tank even though he feels that he has do wonders, not knowing that the relationship is deteriorating because of his not knowing this simple truth. Normally, what one person does for the other is usually their primary love language, but it is not necessarily the primarily love language of the person they are expressing the acts to. Each other thinks that they are doing the “right” thing to promote love in the relationship; when in fact, neither of them may not be contributing at all. You express to each other what THEIR primary love language is, not speak/do to them what YOUR love language is. Do you see this?

See also Marriage & Love Relationship: A Complete Marriage.

If you haven’t found your way to our Teaching Archives the link is www.divorcehope.com/bibleteachingarchives.htm. There are a number of teachings that have to deal with the dynamics of relationships. Look for the ones on truth, love and covenants. They are all very powerfully anointed by God and ready to break the yokes of bondage.



Authors/Sources:

Dr. Gary Chapman, www.5lovelanguages.com/
(Marriage restoration through marriage seminars. Gary Chapman is also the author of the powerful The Five Love Languages. We recommend this book for ALL marriage relationships.)

Marriage Builders, Dr Willard Harley www.marriagebuilders.com (Marriage seminar for couples considering divorce. Phone counseling and coaching with a very high success rate in saving marriages . Willard Harley is the author of the very powerful book, His Needs Her Needs. We highly recommend this book for EVERY marriage relationship.)




A complete list of help can be found on our Marriage And Divorce Sources Of Help page. Including other sources, you will find a number of very good links and phone numbers to clinics, ministries and christian counselors who can help. Some marriage divorce counseling is free of charge, while others are not.

There are many critical keys in this book regarding divorce, remarriage, submission, interracial marriage and relationships. Click on Divorce: God's Will? to order.