God's Will For Marriage Is Not Based On Having A Baby

Being pregnant and having a child outside of wedlock does not dictate God’s will for marriage. Many have gotten married for this reason. Nearly all of those who have married did so because they were taught by the religious system or by their parents that they HAD to marry the father of the child. Some women were raped; other women were reaching out to a male for the affection they never received from their own fathers. Sadly, they discovered that along with the affection they found, came the requirement for them to have sex. Some women found themselves pregnant and their life of sex was exposed. It didn’t matter if they had sex with one or many; you HAD to marry the male who supposedly got you pregnant.

Forcing a pregnant woman to marry may be very commendable for the unborn child, but it’s not totally God’s heart. Even though God desires for every child to have a father, He gave that discretion to the father of the family.

For “if a man seduces a virgin not betrothed [engaged] and lies with her, he shall surely pay a dowry for her to become his wife. [BUT] IF HER FATHER UTTERLY REFUSES TO GIVE HER TO HIM, he shall [still] pay money equivalent to the dowry of virgins” (Exodus 22:16, 17 AMP). Notice that God did not take into consideration at all the fact that the woman got pregnant. THE CONSIDERATION FOR MARRIAGE WAS BASED UPON THE FORNICATION, NOT ON GETTING PREGNANT FROM THE SEXUAL ACTS. THE DISCRETION IS LEFT UP TO THE FATHER OF THE WOMAN, EVEN IF SHE IS PREGNANT. God knows that every situation is different.

Because of the authority given to the father to allow his daughter to marry or not to marry, the consequences or blessings rest upon the daughter. Some fathers have made wise choices in allowing their daughters to marry, and some have not. Marrying a person primarily because a baby is involved can remove one further from God’s will and may actually be jumping from the frying pan into the fire. Two wrongs do not make a right.

God Has No "Mistakes"

Some may feel like you were a “mistake” in life (whether it was by a conception that was not wanted, neglect, rape, incest, having been a “throw-away child” or whatever) but you aren’t. The Lord spoke to my heart one day and said, “I did not predestinate you from a perfect order, BUT FROM AN ORDER THAT WAS OUT OF ORDER.” Meaning, God did not plan the future from a point of everyone being perfect. Instead, He looked into the future and saw all the “mistakes” of life, weighed the attitudes and motives of people’s hearts and said, “It was not their fault. Therefore, THESE are the ones that I have chosen.” Isn’t that grand?

For we have been “...predestinated [from an order that was out of order] according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will... For you see ...that not many mighty, not many noble, are called. BUT GOD HAS CHOSEN THE FOOLISH THINGS [THAT’S US] OF THE WORLD TO PUT TO SHAME THE WISE, AND GOD HAS CHOSEN THE WEAK THINGS of the world to put to shame the things that are mighty; AND THE BASE THINGS [THOSE WHO THINK THEY’RE THE LOWEST] OF THE WORLD AND THE THINGS WHICH ARE DESPISED GOD HAS CHOSEN” (Ephesians 1:11, 1Corinthians 1:26-28).

Often, when someone is a victim of someone else’s selfish choice, they feel they’re a lost part of God’s “perfect order.” But it’s the order that’s “out of order” that God has chosen. Be encouraged! God Himself has chosen you. And what a wonderful God He is!

There are many critical keys in this book regarding divorce, remarriage, submission, interracial marriage and relationships. Click on Divorce: God's Will? to order.