 FIVE STAR
Book Reviews of:
Divorce: God's Will?
by Stephen Gola
ISBN 0976721155 and ISBN 1412000882
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, August 13, 2006
Reviewer:
| Jessica M. (New Jersey USA) |
Many people that have not been a victim of abuse by a loved one, especially a spouse really do not understand the mental, emotional, and spiritual death that occurs when someone abuses you. Abuse is a form of control and manipulation and mind games was the real root of sin. Satan in his smooth and flattering words deceived Eve, knowing the outcome. Abusive men, well my husband, who is supposedly a Christian, used very smooth and flattering words and mannerisms, that convinced me to marry him, although logic taught me differently. I thought he was a man of God, but he used emotional/mental games and abuse, as well as physical abuse to control me. It killed my soul and brought me farther away from God. I too was contemplating many things. I wanted to kill myself because a man that I cared so much about was constantly telling me that I was the cause of his actions, but when I tried to act differently It did not work. This book and Stephen Gola and his wife really did help me. I sent them an email because I had additional questions and they were a blessing. Now since I have been separated for so long now I see clearly. Religion teaches us as woman to sacrifice ourselves for men---however God is our Father, and if our earthly father does not want to see his daughter abused, so does our Heavenly father too. We must realize that yes sexual immorality,adultery, which is a sin against the body, because as husband and wife we are one. However abuse, physical and emotional is also a crime to our bodies since we are the temple of God. And all crimes that are not willfully stopped need to cease. Abuse kills the soul and decreases all forms of happiness and it creates generational curses, since female children will become more inclined to accept abuse, and male children will be more likely to become abusers themselves. Since they are only mirroring an image that they have seen. I believe Christianity as a whole is doing us a great disfavor by not analyzing unacceptable forms of behaviors in marriage. Too often it is preached that if the woman just pray more or the husband pray more, however the Lord analyzes the heart. The Lord does not change the will of people's heart but speak to the heart that is willing to hear. IN respect to marrying outside race....I don't agree with that portion. God did prohibit and instructed the people of Israel not to marry people from the surrounding communities because they practiced idolatry and the people of Israel if they married woman that believed in other gods, then the nation of Israel, which was to be a light unto the world, will become dark. THis is seen time and time again in the Old testament when the people of Israel married unconverted people. There is no such thing as an impure race. For we are not to call something unclean that God called clean. Whomever calls upon the name of the Lord and lives an upright life is saved, (given other factors too), then they are made clean on the account of Jesus. So race is no longer an issue. Jesus bridged the great divide. So I differ with Gola on that issue. Nevertheless, we must carefully look at culture when selecting a mate, because different cultures have different values, and those things will greatly affect any marriage. Much blessings to Mr. Gola and his wife Sincerely, Jessica M.
This book saved my life, August 29, 2005
| Reviewer: |
Cynthia Buchholz (Wisconsin USA) |
Words cannot express the freedom I found through Christ using this incredible book as a weapon of destruction against confusion and death and despair. I was near suicide, and then one day, when I could take no more, the Lord lovingly directed me to this book. My ex-husband and I were involved in ministry, and I did not believe in divorce. God gave me a choice, because the spiritual abuse, along with the physical and emotional abuse I suffered, was about to end 3 lives... mine, and eventually my two boys. As a result of separation for 2 years culminating in a very sad divorce where Apathy and Denial reigned supreme, my children discovered healing through writing their own book, and through many painful memories, the journal I kept also turned into a book that now ministers to the battered and the shattered. As a former bible-based crisis counselor, helping people find freedom from the occult, satanism and various addictions, I would highly recommend this book to anyone who is suffering the agony of spiritual confusion and emotional abuse. The time is too short to allow legalism to kill off those whom God has prepared for these coming days. God has brought me through to the other side safely through this book, and because it is written with such humility, God uses each section as a weapon of knowledge to defeat the enemies of strife, confusion, and spiritual death. Each marriage/relationship is like a fingerprint to God...unique, with it's own set of circumstances. I can honestly say that this book touches everyone differently, and God meets you where you are, giving you tools to hone and redefine your purpose through all the chaos you may be experiencing. I thank the authors for their obedience, and for the love of Christ they portray in this book. Divorce, I have come to discover, God allows in extreme circumstances, especially when the alternative is spiritual death at the hands of rebellion and perversion. God's mercy is great and His faithfulness unparalleled. Buy the book, and then listen to the still small voice that will help you defeat condemnation and shame. And then testify to the God Who works all things together for the good of those who love Him. If God moves my heart in the direction of counseling again, this book will definitely be recommended as a resource to find Life in the midst of the shadow of death.
Divorce: God's Will? Brings Biblical Healing To Divorced Christian Disciples, August 24, 2005
Reviewer: |
Rev. Michael Dowdy ( Rolla, Missouri USA ) |
I highly recommend Divorce: God's Will? to divorced Christian disciples and ministers who are counseling divorced singles struggling to overcome emotional pain and guilt associated with divorce. Reading it brings much needed biblical healing for divorced persons of religious faith. I recommend this book for clergy as well.
Rev. Michael D. Dowdy
Book explores the truth behind God's stance on divorce, December 29, 2004
Reviewer: |
Bookman Marketing ( Martinsville, IN USA) |
Divorce: God's Will? is an eye-opening book that takes the readers into the heart of that dreaded word-divorce. Divorce: God's Will? takes the readers by the hand and leads them through the facts as to why sometimes marriages are destined to fail. Mr. Gola explains that God does not want people to suffer through loveless and sometimes hateful marriages. He desires for individuals to be whole and happy.
Oftentimes divorcees or those desiring divorce feel guilty because they believe they are going against God's rule. They believe the institution of marriage is more important than their happiness and health, but Mr. Gola shows the readers that this is not the case because some may be fighting God's will by opposing divorce from a bad or a wrong marriage. The Author brings out the truth behind God's word on how to have a Christian marriage and to survive misinterpretations of His word.
Divorce: God's Will? offers hope to those with questions and guilt. The path to love and acceptance is not as dark as previously feared.
Stephen Gola, author of Divorce: God's Will?, has never been divorced. He writes the authoritative book Divorce: God's Will? purely from the command of the Lord: "Son sit down, I want to teach you about divorce."
Divorce: God's Will? was NOT written for his own motives---Mr. Gola has never been divorced, rather it has been written out of God's heart of love to the people who are or need to be divorced.
Helped me through my divorce, March 17, 2005
Reviewer: |
Wild Rose ( Connecticut USA) |
Last year I divorced my husband of 25 year due to his controlling, manipulative behavior and other types of emotional and mental abuse. Throughout our marriage I was constantly accused of being unfaithful; he even "made up" evidence to "prove" that I had been. I would also like to add that he is a professing Christian.
In 2001 while in prayer, God told me that my husband was "not going to change", and asked me "what are you going to do?". But it took me another 2 1/2 years to understand that God had actually given up on our marriage; I had been hoping and praying that the abusive behaviors would cease, but they only got worse.
Like one of the previous reviewers, I too went to the internet for information, because despite what God told me, I couldn't find evidence from scripture to support my right to divorce, especially since there had been no physical abuse. From the outside looking in we were the ideal family.
But after a long search I finally came across the author's website, and after reading some of the excerpts, purchased a copy of the book a few months after I had already filed for divorce. The book was a godsend, because the author fully explained the biblical principles for why divorce is sometimes necessary, something that is very often neglected within the Christian community. It makes no sense that a loving God would require people who love Him to remain in an abusive relationship. A marriage should reflect the character of God, and the parties should be the vessels through which God can manifest His love for each of them. My marriage certainly did not. Like myself, many people marry young and/or often out of their carnal natures, according to their own desires, and not according to God's. I thought that as long as my husband was "saved" that I was doing the right thing, but the warning signs of impending trouble were present early on.
Thanks to God's mercy and to Mr. Gola, today I am happily divorced. Ironically, and through an unusual set of circumstances, God revealed that my now ex-husband, who had accused me unceasingly of infidelity, had himself had several affairs throughout our marriage. I hadn't suspected because I had trusted him! But God knew.
This book is a huge eye-opener, March 17, 2005
Reviewer: |
"Anonymous" ( British Columbia Canada) |
Until I read this book, I believed, as many Christians do accept blindly, that divorce was just not allowed. And I believed that if a person got a divorce and then married someone else, both parties in the new marriage were committing adultery.
Therefore, I stayed in a marriage where the man was abusing me for 18 years. My only hope in life was for death of either him or me so I could be free.
Meanwhile, my four children suffered because I was not a happy mom and Dad was mean to Mom. No matter how hard I tried to please him, he always found or invented something else for which to berate me. He felt it was his right as a Christian man to control me and that I was required to "submit" to him whether I liked it or not.
Something just did not seem right about that whole arrangement, but I didn't know how to explain it.
I began searching the internet for any information on divorce being permitted from a Christian standpoint. I realized that I might be "looking for what I WANTED to see," so tried to keep an open mind and to carefully consider the validity of whatever I found, to not just "take someone's word for it" that what they wrote was true.
When I found Stephen Gola's site, it was a foreign subject to me. Could God actually approve of divorce?
I checked out the Scripture references which Mr. Gola explained in his book, "Divorce: God's Will?" to be sure nothing was being assumed. It all began to add up.
After reading the sample pages on the web-site, I wanted to see the whole book, so I ordered a copy. And I was not disappointed at what I read.
Since reading "Divorce: God's Will," I have read many other articles that agree with Mr. Gola's explanation of the common and oft-misinterpreted Scriptures concerning divorce, adultery, and remarriage.
I cannot recommend this book enough, to anyone who has questions about what is right concerning divorce and remarriage. It is an excellent jumping-off point for getting one going on seriously looking into the Bible -- not only for these issues discussed but also for anything else one is studying in the Scriptures. It has made me all the more aware of the need to carefully dissect the Word of God and not rely on tradition.
A Book In Due Season with the Holy Spirit Anointing, July 22, 2004
Reviewer: |
Phelencia "God's Girl" ( Los Angeles, CA USA) |
Every problem known to man can be traced back to the human family - directly or indirectly. With divorce statistics at an all time high, one can’t help but wonder...Is God Really Behind These Marriages? My answer has been and remains unequivocally NO! The laws of sowing and reaping apply. Yes, even to marriage. The relationships within the human family have been broken to the point of collapse. Why? Because many in modern day Christiandom have spoken to the issue of God’s will for marriage. However, they fail to expose to the fullest the difference between God’s will and man’s will. As a result, these houses built on sand, a bad foundation, fall when the rains descend and the storms of life come.
No, God has not put together many of the marriages that are in existence today. As a result, now we are at the point where we not only have lost the sanctity of marriage, but we are also trying to establish that it is meant to be between male and female. This is sad to say the least. Speaking for myself, I know that I purposefully constructed my own marriage based on the ‘feel good’ method versus the ‘God’s good’ method. The Holy Spirit through Stephen did an excellent job with this book. It is a word in due season that removes the mask and reveals many truths about God’s intent for marriage and divorce. This book is a must read for anyone seeking the truth! Remember, the truth will set you free! (John 8:32)
Divorce: God's Will?, June 3, 2004
Reviewer: |
NewSongFM 96.1 Editor, Joyce Mabee ( St. John, New Brunswick Canada) |
Book review by: Joyce Mabee, 96.1 NewSongFM. Divorce: God's Will? by Stephen Gola, has got to be the best book I've ever read on the subject of marriage and divorce! (Yes there is even good advice in this book for married couples who want to stay married!) For someone suffering in an abusive marriage, for couples that believe that they may be committing adultery by remarrying after a divorce, or for those who have questions about soul ties to someone that they are divorced from, Divorce: God's Will? will give scriptural words of comfort, courage and freedom! The book emphasizes that God actually may use divorce to separate "the one" back into "two" separate people in order to save one or both individuals, or their children. The author points out that God is more concerned for the individual than the institution which was created FOR the individual. Stephen takes a very sensitive subject and carefully steps his readers through it, always redirecting them to the Scriptures to see for themselves "if these things be true." I have to give this book my highest 5 star rating and recommend it to all adults.
Also see Testimonies of God's Grace.
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